I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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