i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
