Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize