He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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