dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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