If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Randomize
