I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
she smelled like a LAN party
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
