i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Randomize
