hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
My dick has a subreddit
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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