before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
