Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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