i jhust puked up my retainher.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
