A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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