Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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