I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
