I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
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