its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
