Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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