she was so not down for the gang bang
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
BRING THE BAGELS
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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