ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize