And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
