you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
