In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
