We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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