I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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