dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Edward fifth and chaser hands
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
