Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize