I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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