Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
