shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
try to milk me bitch
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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