the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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