That's when you crack a 10am beer
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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