it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
