dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
