Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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