Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize