I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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