How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
