If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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