Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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