i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
So much rum. So many feels.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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