Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
are you so shy because you have an std?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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