Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize