Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Randomize
