Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Little spoons don't ask big questions
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
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