is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
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