You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
