Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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