This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
