It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize