I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
