We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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