Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize