im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
