Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
soo... how was my night?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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