either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
We need to rekindle our bromance
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
