No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
