i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
