You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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