i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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