Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
