It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Vodka?
Forever.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
