Sry I called you an 8
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
