Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
