He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
