it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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