You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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