Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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